at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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