How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
wow bdsm is so cute
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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