i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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