i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
