Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
