The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
