Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
