The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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