I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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