ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
