oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
