you guys were way drunker than both of me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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