so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
