At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
