I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
