The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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