C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I need a beard to bite.
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