ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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