I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
