U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
