I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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