I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
