It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
