I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
