So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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