whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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