The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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