we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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