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He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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