I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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