alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
