That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
