i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
