I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
