I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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