that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
