I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize