He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
40s are totally the cure
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
