Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
