I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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