I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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