we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
