Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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