Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
