I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
