I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize