She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
