do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.