so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
