gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
