I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize