I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
