he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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