I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
