When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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