They should really pass out barf bags in church
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
