what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
