go do what you do best...puke behind churches
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
