Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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