rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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